Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Valley of Choice #IndieLoveAPC

It sneaked up on you and took you away from those you love. It stole your hobbies such as skating and drawing that you once held a passion. A broken family is their replacement, one whom you took advantage of and are now withdrawing from you. 

The drugs you use snickers, for it knows the doors that were once open are now closed. Not forever, but for now, and the drug knows this. But it doesn’t mind because for now you belong to it. 

In moments of sobriety you wonder why? what happened? and what are you going to do? For those who love you, haven’t stopped loving you, but have tried time after time. Dutifully and woefully listening to your words and somehow they knew the valley of choice you built for yourself is deep, and the hill is steep to climb, but it is yours to climb.

You think, because those you love aren’t close around, that you are alone now, but you are not. Mom watches from a distance as you choose to walk your own way. Mom begs you to understand; it’s your disruption actions that she can’t allow and her pain is like a two edged sword, because as your Mom, her desire is for you to stay clean. You are in the valley of choices and consequences. 

Mom prays good things for you, as she is willing you to fight for you and yet the hold that drugs have on you is strong and fighting it is not what you want to do. Mom grieves in quiet despair, her heart in a state of sadness and blue as she waits for you to decide to release the drugs that makes you so nonchalant. 

Far away but never far in a Mom’s thoughts; she does not do what her heart wants but allows wisdom to preside. Rescuing you is what you want, my son, but it is the last thing you need. 

When the words Mom hears you speak brings small joy to her heart, before she realizes that are only a taunt. For it is, once again, only in speech and backed up not in deed. 

Mom’s heart grieves for her son, as her eyes fill with distraught tears. Sadness clutches her as she watches him stagger through the valley of choice hoping that he knows that a Mom’s love for her son will never disappear. In his ear, she speaks of her love and hopes, in the quiet, he hears the truth in her voice.

Although this is not a poem, it is spoken from my heart and dedicated to my son. 

Poetry from the Heart and Soul 

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K-Trina Meador, aka K. Meador